Inauguration Day Perspectives
It is now about 1:30pm Eastern time. I am writing from Richmond, Va- a mere 2 hours from the enormous crowds that arrived to witness, in person, the historic inauguration of America’s first African-American president. As I watched the event live on the television I couldn’t ignore the feeling of a rising hope for the direction in which (hopefully) our country is now headed. I voted for Obama in the recent election. Not because I bought into the hype and not because I wanted to see an African-American president (though I admit I was interested in the difference of perspective). I saw the way his speaking inspired people. He was the most eloquent speaker of the Democratic party’s candidates. It was my personal hope that, if nothing else, his ability to inspire and bring people together under a common goal would be enough to move us forward into a more positive era. That being said, more so than at any other time up to this point, I was moved and filled with hope by his inaugural address. I felt that many things were said that needed to be said and several different aspects of this historic event were acknowledged. I appreciated that he acknowledged the significance of his being the first black president, but I also appreciated that it was not the focal point of the day. I feel that race is a minor issue in these times (though not entirely unimportant), especially in comparison to the enormity of the importance that we have a clean slate on which to start a new chapter in history and perhaps the ability to undo much of the damage that has been incurred in the past 8 years.
Moving on, there were many things about this inauguration which were memorable. From the speakers to the speeches and the performances.
The John Williams piece as performed by the quartet which included Pearlman and YoYo Ma was incredible.
Having Aretha Franklin perform was a nice touch (I would have preferred Gladys Knight or Tina Turner personally, but no complaints).
The gentleman that gave the benediction was fantastic. He had a voice that suited the purpose and the words which he spoke. I think this was my favorite part of the inauguration. His words were wise, and beautiful and gracious. He had a perfect blend of sombreness and lightheartedness. I appreciated that he closed with a bit of a laugh.
I think HW Bush’s outfit was a bit… odd. The furry beaver hat a-la Moscow, combined with his purple scarf and (yellow?) shirt made it look like he was part of the Moscow Lakers… I couldn’t help but laugh each time I saw him.
All in all, I think this was better than we had all anticipated it to be. I think what is most important now is to look ahead and for Obama to pick his first few actions very carefully. I think it will be very important that his first several tasks succeed. I think if there are many failures early on it may shatter the image and spend the hope of all who have waited for the promised change. It will be pivotal to have some small successes right off the bat to help support the promise of hope.
A Pox, A Plague… A Cold.
Well, it’s been a while… a long while, in fact, since last I was sick. I am not certain as to what I have caught this time around and since I have no health insurance I suppose I won’t be finding out (at least not through the regular venues of sickness diagnosis).
Here’s the deal…
It started with a sore throat and pretty intense body aches. A day later we added a cough and the sore throat got bad enough that I started to suspect strep. Two days later everything stayed more or less the same. The body aches were less, but then I WAS on a steady diet of Theraflu. To their credit, that stuff works AMAZINGLY well and tastes better than everything else I had tried. 3 days later the sore throat began to fade and I developed a small cough. Day 4- Sore throat gone. Body aches in the morning and the coughing went from a 1 to a 5. Day 5- Today I feel like someone clubbed me in my sleep. I have a minimal appetite (I ate a waffle for breakfast regardless of how hungry I though I was… now I feel like dying.) and I am EXHAUSTED! My lungs feel like they have rocks in them and nothing seems to be doing a very good job of loosening the phlegm. I have taken expectorants and mucus thinners… Dimatapp, Robitussin, Day/Nyquil. I get a little bit of relief from them, typically just enough to go on with my day. The next step is to hook up the vaporizer at night and take a sudafed before bed. That worked last time I had a bad cough and chest congestion.
Aside from myself though, it seems a lot of people I know got sick this past weekend. One friend managed to catch what his doctor called a bacterial version of the flu. It came complete with vomiting, dizziness and a fever of 102.7F. Fun times.
My roomates girlfriend also managed to catch something. Her symptoms point to some sort of allergy. wouldn’t be surprised if it was related to our heater. I think the heating ducts are really really dusty. I’ve also looked into changing the filter in the heat pump to a HEPA filter, but for some reason the filter piece of the furnace has been blocked and looks like I would have to do some minor construction work to get to it. Knowing this place, that filter has probably never been changed. I should call the local news station down to check this place out. Air leaks at all the windows and doors, bad heater, bad water heater, exposed wall sockets… I smell potential lawsuit.
And I COULD use some extra $$$. haha. Oh, America…Land of frivolous lawsuits and wreckless self gain at another’s expense.
I think if I don’t get rid of this cough soon I am just gonna die so I don’t have to deal with it anymore. My abs and ribs hurt soooooo bad from the incessant coughing.
Holiday Thoughts
Christmastime has always been a favorite of mine. I consider myself to be a holder of Christian beliefs, but I don’t observe the holiday as a religious holiday (in all honesty, I don’t see how one could seeing as it is an amalgam of purely Catholic beliefs and pagan rituals…but that is a discussion for another time). I’ve been more a fan of the general spirit of togetherness, family and of course- blinking lights.
In recent years I’ve noticed a decline in my excitement for the holiday season. Currently, it is two days before Xmas and I just am not feeling it. No excitement. No anticipation. It feels like just another week out of the year. In the realization of this indifference to the season I have been wondering what has lead me to this point? How could something I once loved and was excited for become something that is about to pass me by with little notice?
Iv’e thought long and hard. Some of the answer is obvious. It’s been a rough year, for one. My grandfather, with whom I spent my first adult Christmas last winter (I had not seen him for 18 years) passed away in July of a sudden heart attack. I have a whole other post devoted to that incident so I will not waste time by going into details here. Suffice to say that it was hard to come to terms with and it is something with which I still struggle.
In addition to that my mom’s second marriage has collapsed. My stepdad has been nothing if not vengeful and childish over the entire matter which started over his inability to leave things in the past and move on. He deserves a post all to himself, but I wouldn’t waste my time on it. Caught in the fray is my younger brother (half brother in reality, but I never even considered that nor did it cross my mind until the divorce proceedings began). Mom and I have done all we can to keep life for him as normal as can be. His father is witholding money from my mom who only works part time as a pharmacy tech. , so money is tight for her. To help out, she and I go half and half on gifts for my brother. When you are that young presents matter and I understand that. I want him to have everything I had growing up and more. Much more.
Also, I was supposed to be married this year. The marriage was set to take place in October. It was called off in July and the relationship between me and my once-fiancee went back and forth for a while. Now we realize that we love one another, but I am struggling with the desire to settle down and the desire to be on my own. As a result I have decided to take the next year to live on my own. I’m still wondering if that was the right decision.
Something else that has led to my decline in interest for this season has been the steady falling away from family that has occured over the last several years. My mom’s sister and her family (a large family) live about an hour north of my mom and I. I don’t think they’ve been face to face this year. Sometimes her sister calls, but that’s not the same. I’ve become a little disgust with them as mom’s relationship problems have gotten worse. There have been times that I was the only person around she could talk to. I try to be as helpful as I can, but I’ve never dealt with issues like hers. Your mom isn’t supposed to come to YOU for advice. That’s just not how it works. Still, I think the dissolution of our close nit family (we were at one time, I think) has hurt me more than anything. Family has always been important to me. To have them just remove themselves from your life without a word of warning has been surprising and hard to take.
As if all that wasn’t enough, my 20 year old, heavily indebted sister got pregnant shortly after thanksgiving. Bad news. Bad timing. She just started a new job that is NOT secure by any means and her boyfriend, who was working on starting his own landscaping business, had to go work for his father. I think they will be alright, but not as well off as they could have been. She’s been making really bad decisions lately and its so hard to watch your sister ruin her life by ignoring everything she’s been told, manipulation others, and generally wasting the little help that’s been offered her. The sad part is, she can’t help herself and no one else is in a position to help her. I hope her boyfriend is as good a man as he seems. She’s going to test his patience for sure.
All of these things have combined and served as a dividing force amongst the many facets of my family and their lives. As someone who has held closeness of family as one of the most important factors in his life, this rapid dissolution has been hard to deal with. Though I know it is not the case, I can’t help but feel like I am alone. The holiday has become hollow. I long for the days when we had 30-some family members gathered around the tree and the fire and we ate and drank and talked and traded gifts. I think if I could have one wish it would be to able to have ALL my family and friends come together for a couple days over the holiday and share some time together. I’d give up any hope of being fiscally affluent, or any chance of being a well-known writer, artist or photographer. I’d live my days out alone if I could have this one wish. Nothing seems more important and right now, nothing seems more distant. Every holiday song about family and togetherness reminds me of the way things were and the way things no longer are. I had to be the sad one on such a happy holiday, but these thoughts have possesed me and I am unable to let go of them. I suppose there is time yet to make this work. Indeed, I consistently struggle onward to achieve this end. It is my hope that one day I will be capable of bringing us all together for a few days out of the year.
That being said, I wish to say something that is not a complaint. I want everyone out there that happens to read this to take a moment and, if you do have family and friends close by this season, tell them how much they mean to you. Let them know that their presence is valued. Don’t lose touch. Ignore all the holiday frustrations and take a deep breath. Ease your mind with the thought that for all you have endured there are others around you who are there to carry you when the road is too hard to walk. Not everyone is so fortunate.
Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah’s and Happy New Year to everyone.